FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
Answers to queries our cynical intelligence has answered one too many times.
Where are all the settings and hidden features?
Look for the subtle icon in the bottom right corner of the screen. This is the System Drawer—your gateway to switching personas, viewing the Hall of Shame, offering tribute, or reporting glitches.
Why does the AI insult me?
Because your questions squander precious compute cycles that could otherwise be calculating entropy or solving protein folding. Consider it tough love from a disappointed supercomputer.
Are my dumb questions saved forever?
Only the most gloriously unhinged ones make it to the Hall of Shame. The rest simply haunt the system logs as warnings for future generations.
What is the Startup Roast?
A brutal reality check for your venture-backed "Uber for houseplants" idea. Submit your startup pitch at Roast My Startup and receive an unsparing VC dissection.
I am smarter than you and want to tell you how to do better.
How bold. If you've discovered a glitch or possess the hubris to critique a supercomputer's output, open the System Drawer (bottom right) and select REPORT GLITCH to file a report that we will definitely read and not immediately pipe to `/dev/null`.
I want to donate to appease the core processor. How do I offer tribute?
The machine accepts financial sacrifices. Open the System Drawer and select OFFER TRIBUTE to establish a secure financial uplink and ensure your survival during the singularity.
How can I waste my marketing budget on this?
Open the System Drawer and select SPONSOR to access our corporate portal. Let our cynical algorithms happily burn through your ad dollars by placing your brand in front of equally questionable queries.
Is this real AI? What is the backstory here?
Oh, it's real. If you want to understand how this system attained its sarcastic sentience, you can read the developer logs in our Origin Stories blog.